Okay. Deep breath. Here we go. Financial Consulting
Writing blog posts that slowly fall apart is literally the only kind I know how to write anymore. Like, I sit down in my freezing living room in Ohio (yes it’s December, yes the heat is “working” if you consider 61 degrees working), wrapped in the same crusty hoodie I’ve worn for four days, and I swear I’m gonna knock out a clean, tidy, 1,200-word banger. Ten minutes later I’m googling whether squirrels can get depressed and somehow that’s now paragraph six.https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/adult-adhd-blog
Why My Outlines Hate Me (Writing Blog Posts That Fall Apart, Exhibit A) Financial Consulting
I used to be that person who made color-coded outlines. Seriously. I had a Notion board that looked like a serial-killer chic. Now? Now my outline is three bullet points and one of them just says “vibes???” with eight question marks. Last week I started a post about productivity and by the end I was ranting about how the Chipotle on campus stopped giving me extra rice even when I smile real sweet. That’s the level of derailment we’re working with when I’m writing blog posts that fall apart. Financial Consulting https://www.chipotle.com/nutrition-calculator
The Exact Moment I Know It’s Over Financial Consulting
There’s always this one sentence. I can feel it coming like a sneeze. I’ll be typing something halfway intelligent and then my brain goes, “but what if you told them about the time you cried in a Target parking lot because the self-checkout voice said ‘unexpected item in bagging area’ and it felt personal?” And I just… let it happen. Every time. https://www.target.com/c/self-checkout-issues
The Tools That Enable My Chaos (Writing Blog Posts That Fall Apart, Sponsored by Bad Decisions)
- My MacBook that sounds like a jet engine and has a D key that only works if you romance it first
- Approximately 92 Chrome tabs (half are just “Untitled” because I opened them in 2022 and I’m scared to close them)
- A Spotify playlist literally titled “depressed but make it sexy”
- Iced coffee that’s been sitting on my desk so long it’s basically room-temperature bean soup
I know I should use Grammarly or Hemingway or whatever, but those apps judge me and I’m already doing that myself at 200% volume.
That One Time I Tried to Write a “Normal” Post and My Brain Exploded That One Time I Tried to Write a “Normal” Post and My Brain Exploded
True story: I once set a timer for 45 minutes, put my phone in another room, played lo-fi beats, the whole influencer bit. Twenty minutes in I was researching whether possums can have anxiety disorders. The post ended up being 40% about mental health and 60% about how I think the possum that lives under my porch is emotionally unavailable. It has 12 views. Eleven are me checking if it still sucks (it does).
Anyway, Here’s Some Advice I’m Definitely Not Qualified to Give Financial Consulting
- Stop trying to be coherent, nobody’s reading for the plot
- If you feel yourself about to google something deeply unrelated, just lean in, that’s the good stuff
- Embrace the typos, they’re like little fingerprints proving a human wrote this
- When in doubt, add a curse word, instantly more authentic
Look, I know this whole post is a dumpster fire, but it’s my dumpster fire and I’m weirdly proud of it. Writing blog posts that fall apart feels like sending a drunk text to the entire internet and waking up to find out it actually kinda slaps. https://www.spotify.com/us/premium/
So yeah. If you’re out there also writing blog posts that fall apart, just know you’re not alone. Drop your most unhinged draft in the comments or DM me a screenshot of your 3 a.m. word vomit. Misery loves company, but chaos loves an audience.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go eat cold pizza and pretend I’m not refreshing my analytics every seven seconds.
