Top Financial Planning Tips That Every Investor Should Know

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Late-night red stock chart, dying plant, floating money.
Late-night red stock chart, dying plant, floating money.

Financial planning tips are literally the only reason I’m not living in my 2012 Honda Civic right now, and trust me, I came scary close in 2022.

I’m sitting cross-legged on my couch in Columbus, Ohio, at 1:43 a.m. with a half-drunk White Claw that’s gone warm and flat, staring at my Mint app like it personally betrayed me. There’s dog hair everywhere (shoutout to my rescue mutt, Kevin), and I can smell the burnt popcorn I forgot in the microwave earlier. This is peak financial planning tips energy—chaotic, slightly ashamed, but finally getting my crap together.

The Financial Planning Tips I Learned After Totally Imploding My Life

Look, nobody hands you a manual when you get your first real paycheck. They just throw confetti and tell you to “invest.” Cool, thanks Dave Ramsey TikTok.

1. Build an Emergency Fund Before You “YOLO” Into Anything (Yes, Even Dogecoin)

I didn’t have an emergency fund in 2020. I had a “vibes” fund. That fund bought me a used Tesla I couldn’t afford insurance on and exactly zero help when the transmission on my old car exploded outside a Chipotle in Dayton. I ate nothing but peanut butter sandwiches for six weeks. Moral of the story? 3–6 months of expenses in a boring high-yield savings account (I use Ally now, no sponsorship, just facts) before you even think about meme stocks.

Paid-off debt stack, cheap Prosecco, Uber Eats chaos.
Paid-off debt stack, cheap Prosecco, Uber Eats chaos.

2. Stop Trying to Time the Market, You’re Not That Guy Financial Planning Tips

2021 me thought I was a genius. I sold everything at the top (lucky), then tried to “buy the dip” and bought the dip… and the dip under the dip… and the knife that kept falling. I finally just set up automatic investments into VTI and VXUS every paycheck and went to touch grass. My portfolio is up 47% since I stopped being a Reddit warrior. Wild.

The Debt Story That Still Makes Me Sweat Financial Planning Tips

I had $38,000 in credit-card debt in 2019 because I thought “I deserve nice cheese and weekend trips to Nashville.” The shame was worse than the interest. I finally did the debt snowball (paid smallest to largest for the psychological wins) while driving Uber on weekends in a 2008 Corolla that smelled like regret and McDonald’s. Paid it all off last year. Threw a party with $12 wine and cried in my kitchen. 10/10 would recommend the crying part.

Real-Talk Retirement Planning Tips From a 30-Something Who Panicked Financial Planning Tips

I have friends still not contributing to their 401(k) because “it’s too complicated.” Bro, the match is free money. I max my Roth IRA every January 2nd now like a religious ritual. Last year I put in $6,500 while eating cold pizza in my underwear—glamorous. Compound interest is legitimately magic if you don’t screw it up for twenty years like I did.

Investing Mistakes That Still Haunt Me (A Short List) Financial Planning Tips

  • Buying individual stocks because some dude on YouTube said so
  • Selling in panic every time the market sneezed
  • Not rebalancing for four straight years (my bonds were at like 3%)
  • Thinking real estate crowdfunding was “passive income” (spoiler: it’s not)

Now I just do three-fund portfolio, chill, and water my sad houseplant that somehow keeps living like my finances.

Green Vanguard pie chart, alive pothos, “Don’t touch it” Post-it.
Green Vanguard pie chart, alive pothos, “Don’t touch it” Post-it.

Final Rambling Thoughts While My Dog Snores Next To Me Financial Planning Tips

Financial planning tips only work if you actually do them, and doing them feels terrible at first—like going to the gym or eating vegetables. But I went from negative net worth to having a paid-off car, a growing investments, and an emergency fund that could handle actual emergencies. I still buy dumb stuff sometimes (new mechanical keyboard last week, don’t @ me), but the big scary money stuff? Handled.

If you’re reading this while stressing about money in the middle of the night—same, babe. Start with one tiny thing tomorrow. Move $50 to savings. Pause one subscription. Set up $25 automatic investments. Whatever. You got this.

Now if you’ll excuse me, Kevin just farted and I need to open a window.

Drop your most embarrassing money mistake below—I’ll go first in the comments. Let’s make each other feel better.

P.S. None of this is financial advice, I’m just a chaotic millennial who finally stopped making the same mistakes on repeat. Talk to an actual fiduciary if you want real advice (I use one now—life-changing).

Useful links I actually use:

Night, internet. Don’t forget to water yourself too.