Okay, here we go.
Investment strategies to help you achieve financial independence have literally saved my life, but also almost ended it a few times, and I’m not even being dramatic. I’m writing this from my stupidly hot apartment in Austin right now — it’s December but the AC is still coughing like it owes me money — and there’s a half-drunk Topo Chico on the desk that’s been there since yesterday. That’s the vibe we’re working with.
The Dumb Shit I Did First So You Don’t Have To (Investment Strategies Edition)
Back in 2018 I thought financial independence was just “buy Tesla and Lambo soon.” I dumped my entire $7k savings into individual stocks because some dude on Reddit said so. Like, full-on regarded moves. I still have nightmares about checking my phone in the middle of HEB and seeing ARK whatever-the-hell drop 8% in a day while I’m holding a basket of overpriced oat milk.
Lesson? Single stocks are spicy ramen — fun at 2 a.m. but you’ll hate yourself tomorrow. Real investment strategies to help you achieve financial independence start with being boring on purpose.
Why Index Funds Became My Emotional Support Investment Strategy
I finally shut up and listened to JL Collins (his book The Simple Path to Wealth lives rent-free in my brain) and just started throwing money at VTSAX every paycheck. That’s it. No timing the market, no “this one ETF is gonna 10x bro.” Just set it, forget it, and go touch grass.
Right now I’m 38% of the way to my FI number and it’s literally only because I stopped trying to be smart. The math is dumb and it works: if you can live on $40k a year, you need roughly a million bucks invested at a 4% withdrawal rate. That’s the Trinity Study talking, not me.
My Exact Lazy-Portfolio That’s Somehow Working
- 70% VTSAX or VT (total stock market, baby)
- 20% VXUS (because apparently the rest of the planet exists)
- 10% chill cash in a high-yield savings account because I’m still scarred from 2022
That’s it. That’s the whole “strategy.”
The Side Hustle That Actually Moved the Needle (And the Ones That Were Trash)
I tried everything, dude. eBay flipping, Uber at 3 a.m. (never again), some print-on-demand thing with cat memes that made $47 total. The only thing that actually accelerated my investment strategies to help you achieve financial independence was freelance copywriting on Upwork. Zero overhead, got paid to write snarky emails for tech startups, and suddenly I was dumping an extra $2-3k a month into investments.
Pro tip: your side hustle doesn’t have to be sexy. It just has to pay more than your Starbucks habit.
Coast FI Is My New Personality Trait
Hit about $650k invested and realized I’m basically coast FI — meaning if I never saved another dime, I could coast to full financial independence by 58 just letting compound interest do the heavy lifting. I calculated it using this free tool from Engaging Data. Felt like I hacked the matrix, then immediately spent $80 on Whataburger to celebrate. Classic me.
The Part Where I Admit I Still Screw Up
I still check my portfolio when I’m drunk sometimes. I still get FOMO when Bitcoin rips. And yeah, I have a tiny “fun money” slice in some random crypto thing because I’m not a complete robot. Financial independence isn’t about being perfect — it’s about not letting the dumb stuff derail the train.
Look, I’m just a regular idiot in Texas who used to live paycheck-to-paycheck eating $1 frozen burritos. These investment strategies to help you achieve financial independence aren’t rocket science. They’re more like… microwave science. Slightly dangerous if you stare directly at it, but mostly just press the button and wait.
If you’re just starting, do this tomorrow:
Open a Vanguard account, buy VTSAX, set up auto-invest from your checking. That’s literally 80% of the battle.
Anyway, I gotta go move my laundry before it gets that weird smell. Hit me in the comments if you’ve got questions or just wanna roast my past life choices — I can take it.
Let’s get you free, fam. One boring dollar at a time.
